There comes a time in our life when you must make decisions based on what lies ahead in your future. The decision could be to pack up and move to another country for a promotion, go back to school, get married, start a family, even file for divorce or separation. These choices are determined by the people in your life who influence you to go left or right or walk or run. Your network is made up of influential individuals like yourself. Friends and family are there for you when you need advice, reassurance, appraisal, and support. Their words can either bring you joy or discomfort. One word or one sentence can change your mind in a matter of seconds. But what if those words do more harm to our thought process than they should?
Five Common Phrases People of Divorce Hear
“Just try and stick it out for the sake of the children.”
“ So what? You’re unhappy in your marriage, think of the kids.”
“Think of all the endless court battles and piles of paperwork, the cost, do you want to go through all that?”
“You made a commitment.”
“Till death do you part.”
We have all heard these phrases at one time or another whether when watching movies, reading blogs, talking to friends, or even parents. It’s upsetting to hear that we as a society are still using blanket statements to shame and dehumanize people from deciding what lies in the way of happiness. Now let me be clear, your loved ones should not stay quiet during this time. However, I am saying they need to be respectful of your feelings by listening to what you have to say first before letting their judgments or opinions cloud your mind.
Reality Vs. Fantasy
The bottom line is no one plans for getting a divorce or separation. You don’t spend your childhood dreaming of the fairy tale divorce, planning every detail down to what you may wear to court proceedings and the complete guest list. Life isn’t an episode of Say Yes To The Divorce. It’s not something we seek out or want to do. But sometimes it’s the most realistic option to be safe and happy. I think we can all agree that deciding to file divorce is a big step in anyone’s life. You’re exposing yourself to the emotional, financial and parental hardships that come with a divorce. You are starting over and finding who you are spiritually and emotionally in life.
Misconceptions and the Media
Often, we hear stories in the media about how divorces have adverse effects on children. Although necessary, it brings less attention and awareness to what the parent is experiencing. If you’re going through a separation or divorce, stop and ask yourself “what will happen to me?” It is entirely natural to be selfish. Think of marriage as a long-term investment of your time, love, trust, finances, and emotions. What happens when your investment does not pay off? Do you continue investing knowing now the potential outcome? Or do you move forward and ask for help. The reality is no one should make you feel guilty for seeking expert advice. It’s your life and your decision. If you do decide to file for divorce, know the facts first.
Are you or someone you care about going through a hard time with divorce or separation? We at Galbraith Family Law and our team of divorce lawyers are here to help discuss your case and your options. We have helped countless families during this difficult time get back to what matters most “family.” Please contact us today to request a consultation